Aging with Grace is All About Acceptance and Attitude

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Aging with Grace Defined Survey Results

 

What does “Aging with grace” mean to you?

To help me get a sense of what this term really means, I surveyed 24 people of all ages (most aged 50-69) and asked them to define “Aging with grace.” I enjoyed reading through the responses and I’d like to thank everyone who participated. I’d like to share with you what I learned, and I will also include my own thoughts on the subject.

“Grace is a quality that many aspire to, but I think in the context of today’s society, what defines grace is somewhat elusive.” – Survey respondent, 49 or under

For the most part, aging with grace is one’s ability to accept growing older and all the changes that come with it. We could almost change the term to, “Aging with Acceptance.” Aging (or the passing of the years) brings many changes to our appearance and abilities (physically, mentally); it also brings changes to the world and our lives. Aging with grace means we are able to accept, adapt and accommodate these changes.

The attitude we carry into our later years will also influence our ability to age with grace.

People who are aging gracefully…

  • accept aging
  • are happy
  • are confident
  • are wise
  • live a healthy and active lifestyle

Regarding “healthy” lifestyle — as we age, our risk for developing age-related illnesses and diseases increases. I think it is important that even if we develop health conditions, we take care of ourselves and try to recover quickly or learn how to live well with chronic illness. I know many people who are aging with grace despite chronic illnesses. It all comes down to attitude.  For example, does arthritis become who you are or is it just something you need to live with and manage?

“Grace is an inside job with outside effects.” – Survey respondent, 49 or under

If we are able to practice self-love as we age, by “nurturing our bodies and minds,” (Survey respondent, 50-69) we tend to be happier and more at peace. It helps us improve our confidence, and live a life that is in line with our true and authentic selves. As we become more compassionate about ourselves we will become more compassionate about others. We can continue to be “gracious to others, and make people feel good”, no matter what their age (Survey respondent, 50-69).

“Aging with grace means aging with confidence, valuing the experience, knowledge and wisdom that comes with age, and rising above a youth-oriented culture.  – Survey respondent, 50-69

Harnessing the wisdom and personal power that comes with age helps us age with confidence. There is great significance in the realization of the value of knowledge and experience gained from years lived. Only then are we able to choose to live a life designed and driven by our own personal values. We realize that we are responsible for our own lives and decisions are made with the wisdom that comes with age and the personal power that we embrace and celebrate.

“Allowing the power and wisdom of aging to be apparent in one’s presence –      including the ability to break stereotypes of aging.” – Survey respondent, 50-69

Being present in the moment in the here-and-now, while focusing on the good things in our life will help us live and age with gratitude. Practicing mindfulness will help us age with grace.

The ability to re-frame our challenges and limitations can help improve our outlook and overall attitude. Being resilient in the face of adversity will also help us a great deal.

Living a conscious life, knowing that we have a finite time here on earth, enables us to focus on living a life that honours our individual values and goals.

I can also tell you what aging with grace IS NOT. It is not about complaining – such as “moaning upon standing” or “whining about wearing reading glasses.” Aging with grace is “void of anger, regrets and baggage from the past.”

The more we learn to accept aging as a normal lifelong process, make peace with it (not war), the happier and more confident we will be.

I’ll leave you with this: Only one person over 70 answered the survey, and gave me something to laugh about. When asked, “How would you define aging with grace?” the answer was:

“I don’t know anyone named Grace, but, I am aging.”

The survey will remain open for a few more weeks, so if you’d like to give me your definition of Aging with Grace, please go to this survey and answer three quick questions. Thanks!

Have your say – please comment below. I’d love to hear from you.

Angela G. Gentile

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Angela G. Gentile, MSW, RSW is a clinical social worker who specializes in aging. She has helped hundreds of people who are struggling with the challenges aging can bring. Angela is passionate about challenging ageist myths and stereotypes and exploring what it means to age well. She considers herself a realistic optimist but she still can’t tell her left from her right. Find out more at http://www.angelaggentile.com.

Read a Sample Chapter of “Caring for a Husband with Dementia”

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Getting a Diagnosis

“The process of figuring out what is causing dementia is often not that simple.” – Angela G. Gentile

In case you are interested, I am offering a sample chapter of my book, Caring for a Husband with Dementia: The Ultimate Survival Guide. The sample I chose is Chapter 2, Getting a Diagnosis. It is six pages in the book (11-16) and it is a good representation of how most of the chapters are written. It ends with some questions to answer regarding what was covered in the chapter.

I hope this sample will give you a feel for the the way the book is written. I also hope it will give you some information on “Getting a Diagnosis.” (The photo shown here is mine, by the way.)

►Read the sample chapter.

Have a great day!

Angela G. Gentile

Men Concerned About Developing Dementia Want Their Partners to Read This Book

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“Caring for a Husband With Dementia: The Ultimate Survival Guide” has been out for almost two months now. I have been to a few events since my book launch. On Saturday, May 9, 2015, Coles – Kildonan Place (Winnipeg) hosted a book signing event for me. This is my second time doing an event like this, and I couldn’t find any “How To” on the subject. I’ve been learning as I go.

►BUY THE BOOK – Caring for a Husband with Dementia

I suited up; packed up my signing pen, rack cards, business cards and candy dish and headed over to Coles with a positive mindset. I was looking forward to the event, hoping to connect with lots of people. Since I only sold one book at my first event (and the author sharing a table with me that day sold two books) I hoped to sell one or two books at my second event.

What I find most memorable from the event are the people who stoped by to chat. I appreciate when people open up and tell me their stories. My sister-in-law even stopped by on her lunch break to see me and I got her to take a picture (see above).

A middle-aged man stopped by to say he wants to buy the book for his wife. I wasn’t sure if he was joking or not. But he went on to explain that he feels his chances of developing dementia are high because both of his parents had Alzheimer’s. He said his wife doesn’t want to talk about it. I encouraged him to take a rack card and wished him all the best.

People seemed to enjoy the candies I was offering. Many children stopped by to take a caramel or a Lifesaver. It was interesting to hear the parents direct them to, “Say thank you.” Some asked for permission to take, others just dove right in.

A younger couple told me about the man’s head injury from years ago and that he has been told he’ll most likely develop dementia when he gets older. He wanted his girlfriend to get the book so that when and if that time comes she’ll be well prepared. They were a sweet couple and she appears to be committed to the relationship and whatever may come down the road.

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A few people took my rack card. It’s a bigger version of a bookmark with information about me and my products including my mobile app for caregivers. One young woman said she couldn’t afford to buy the book ($19.95 CDN) but asked me to sign the rack card for her. I told her I am working on getting the book into the library but that it takes time.

I chuckled to myself when a man in his late 70’s flirted with me. He told me how good I looked as he gave me a little wink and whistle. About a half-hour later he came back my way and he said I had nice legs. Both times I smiled and said, “Thank you.”

At the end of my two-hour event, a woman came to me with a smile, and told me I looked lonely. She went on to tell me about her experience of looking after her husband who had dementia. He eventually became quite aggressive and had to be moved to a nursing home. He died about a year ago. Now her neighbour is going through the same thing. She bought a book and asked me to sign it in memory of her late husband. She planned on sharing it with her neighbour or anyone else who may benefit from it.

I ended up reaching my goal for sales. Selling two books in two hours doesn’t seem like a lot, but I was told that some authors don’t sell any books. It has been the bookstore’s experience sometimes the customers come back during the week to purchase the book. Some of them don’t buy when the author is there, but choose to come back at a different time. I have also read that sometimes a person needs to hear about, read about, or see a book seven times before they buy it. So, any exposure is good exposure.

Overall, I really enjoyed my book signing event and I would say it went well. I especially enjoyed talking to people about their experiences. I learned that men want their partners to read this book. I also learned that men in their late 70’s like to flirt with middle-aged authors. 😉

Have a great day!

Angela G. Gentile

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Angela G. Gentile, MSW, RSW is a clinical social worker who specializes in aging. She has helped hundreds of people who are struggling with the challenges aging can bring. Angela is passionate about challenging ageist myths and stereotypes and exploring what it means to age well. She considers herself a realistic optimist but she still can’t tell her left from her right. Find out more at http://www.angelaggentile.com.

Book Launch Highlights and Video

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 Caring for a Husband with Dementia:

The Ultimate Survival Guide

On Thursday, April 16, 2015, a book launch celebration for Caring for a Husband with Dementia was held at McNally Robinson Booksellers in Winnipeg. There were approximately 55-60 people attending the event, and there was wine and other refreshments. The event was sponsored by Comforts of Home – Care. Click on the arrow above to watch the 26-minute video or go to this link: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CyjUQcmnc14

Find out how to get the book: http://www.angelaggentile.com/book

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Pictured above is my husband Agapito (who doesn’t have dementia) and I. He made brownies and they were very yummy.

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I started out mixing with the crowd and I was pleased to see so many friendly and familiar faces. I handed out the books that I had gifted to some of the guests. I then moved on to do my presentation. It lasted about 25 minutes.

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One of the wife caregivers (Merrilee) also presented and she did a great job. She presented with warmth, humour and honest emotion.

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After the presentation, I signed books. It was a bit of a challenge to figure out what to say. I goofed up a couple of times, but I guess that’s to be expected. Not sure if it was the excitement or the wine, LOL. 🙂

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I had a designated photographer and videographer, and I got some great shots and video. It went from 7:30 – 9:00pm. I received a dozen beautiful white roses and a gift of David’s Tea from some special friends.

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All in all, it was a fantastic event, and I found the whole evening surreal. Thank you to all who made the event a memorable one.

Sincerely,

Angela G. Gentile

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Angela G. Gentile, M.S.W., R.S.W. is a clinical social worker who specializes in aging. She has helped hundreds of people who are struggling with the challenges aging can bring. Angela is passionate about challenging ageist myths and stereotypes and exploring what it means to age well. She considers herself a realistic optimist but she still can’t tell her left from her right. Find out more at http://www.angelaggentile.com.

Events Page Added to Website

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Hello! I hope this message finds you well.  It’s an exciting time for me and I am starting to get booked up with events – book signings, presentations, etc.

I have started a new page on my website, called Events.

I would love to do an event of some sort for you. Please let me know if you’d like me to present to your group. I speak on caregiving for people with dementia, seniors’ housing and aging well.

I am a specialist in aging, so if you have another great idea related to aging, let me know and I am sure I can tailor the presentation to suit your needs.

Sincerely,

Angela G. Gentile

Where to Find “Caring for a Husband with Dementia”

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where2buyIn addition to being available worldwide online through Amazon and Barnes and Noble, Caring for a Husband with Dementia: The Ultimate Survival Guide is now available in select bookstores in Manitoba and Ontario.

Find Caring for a Husband with Dementia at these fine stores in Manitoba:

►McNally Robinson Booksellers, 1120 Grant Avenue, at Grant Park Mall, Winnipeg

►Blaine’s, 11-1795 Henderson Hwy, Winnipeg

►Chapters Polo Festival, 695 Empress Street, Winnipeg (Local Interest section)

►Coles City Place, 234 Donald Street, Winnipeg (Local Interest section)

►Chapters St. Vital, St. Vital Shopping Centre, 1225 St. Mary’s Street, Winnipeg

►H. P. Tergesen & Sons, 82 1st Avenue, Gimli

 

 

There are always other ways you can get a copy of the book.

(Kindle version also available.)

If you would like to contact Angela about how to get your copy, send her an email.

What is Alzheimer’s Anyways?

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As I was perusing through the Alzheimer’s Reading Room, I came across this video on YouTube. It is a well-done video called, “What is Alzheimer’s Disease?”. It comes from the AboutAlzOrg YouTube channel. Check out this three minute video and come away with a greater understanding of this incurable and fatal disease: What is Alzheimer’s Disease?

The more we understand, the more we can help.

Warm regards,

Angela G. Gentile

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Angela G. Gentile, M.S.W., R.S.W. is a clinical social worker who specializes in aging. She has helped hundreds of people who are struggling with the challenges aging can bring. Angela is passionate about challenging ageist myths and stereotypes and exploring what it means to age well. She considers herself a realistic optimist but she still can’t tell her left from her right.

 

 

 

Dementia Caregiver Solutions App on the Radio

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I had the awesome opportunity to be interviewed by Faisal Karmali of News Talk 770 regarding our new app, “Dementia Caregiver Solutions”, March 27, 2015, for a program called “More Than Money” for News Talk 770 in Calgary, Alberta. Check out the 10 minute YouTube video I made:

 DCS App Interview on News Talk 770 

The program is produced by Peter Watts. It’s a finance and lifestyle program, aimed primarily at a 50+ demographic which is transitioning to, or is already into retirement. It is co-hosted by Dave Popowich and Fasial Karmali, who run a financial advisory practice catering to this same demographic, under the CIBC Wood Gundy banner.

I was flying by the seat of my pants, and I also got a chance to promote my new book, “Caring for a Husband with Dementia: The Ultimate Survival Guide.” The segment will be aired on Sat. April 25, 2015 on News Talk 770 in Calgary.

Have a great day!

Angela G. Gentile

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Angela G. Gentile, M.S.W., R.S.W. is a clinical social worker who specializes in aging. She has helped hundreds of people who are struggling with the challenges aging can bring. Angela is passionate about challenging ageist myths and stereotypes and exploring what it means to age well. She considers herself a realistic optimist but she still can’t tell her left from her right.

Self-Help Survival Guide for Caregiving Wives

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FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE
25 March 2015 | Winnipeg, Manitoba
Visit angelaggentile.com for more information.

SELF-HELP SURVIVAL GUIDE FOR CAREGIVING WIVES

Much needed book for families affected by dementia

Angela G. Gentile, clinical social worker and specialist in aging, has written a self-help book for the wife of a husband who has dementia (also known as the “hidden patient”). Caring for a Husband with Dementia: The Ultimate Survival Guide is based on a confidence-boosting counselling program for stressed-out caregiving wives. The program developed by Gentile was a success and she shares what she learned with the goal of supporting other caregivers who may be struggling.

Although caregiving can be rewarding, a wife caring for a husband with dementia may feel alone, isolated and overwhelmed. The fear, stress and losses endured can be devastating and in some cases, life threatening. Gentile’s book aims to empower the caregiving wife by offering support, advice, tips and education, which is enhanced by the workbook style of learning.

Caregivers and family members will find support and advice in this easy-to-read book (180 pages). This caregiver companion will be referred to often, as it covers all the steps along the journey starting at time of diagnosis.

Check out the new accompanying app, Dementia Caregiver Solutions, for iPhone/iPad running on iOS 8.

“The book’s detailed content reflects the expertise and experience of the author. I highly recommend it, not only to wives of spouses with dementia, but to all who have an interest in dementia.” – Lynda Greaves, Retired Nurse

Angela G. Gentile, M.S.W., R.S.W. has helped hundreds of people who are struggling with the challenges aging can bring. She is passionate about challenging ageist myths and stereotypes and exploring what it means to age well. She lives in Winnipeg with her husband, two teenagers and Rocky, their lovable cockapoo. She considers herself a realistic optimist. Read more at angelaggentile.com.

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For high-resolution photos or more information, contact:
Angela G. Gentile | phone: (204)298-1012 | email angela.gentile@shaw.ca

Caring for a Husband with Dementia Available in Paperback and Kindle

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Photo credit: Angela G. Gentile

The book, Caring for a Husband with Dementia: The Ultimate Survival Guide by Angela G. Gentile, MSW RSW is now available in paperback and Kindle on Amazon.com.

I am eager to hear what people think of it.

Check out the latest post on LinkedIn.com.

Also, my website has moved to angelaggentile.com.

Thanks for reading!

 

 

Warm regards,

Angela G. Gentile

(The picture above is the book, and there are many others, too. They complement the cover, which is taken in a outdoor setting.)

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Angela G. Gentile, M.S.W., R.S.W. is a clinical social worker who specializes in aging. She has helped hundreds of people who are struggling with the challenges aging can bring. Angela is passionate about challenging ageist myths and stereotypes and exploring what it means to age well. She considers herself a realistic optimist but she still can’t tell her left from her right.